Long-distance grandparenting: one secret word, two phones, a thousand miles

Why small and daily beats big and rare

A long phone call once a month is lovely, but it’s hard to start. “So, how’s school?” gets you a “fine,” and the call stalls. What helps is a shared little something that happens every day, so there’s always a fresh thing to talk about.

A daily word game is one of the easiest threads you can find. It takes a few minutes, it works on any phone or computer, and it gives every conversation a ready-made opening: “Did you get today’s word?”

Seven ideas built around one word

1. The same word, morning and evening

Warmer Warmer has one secret word a day, the same for everyone. You type any word, and the game tells you how close it is in meaning, as a temperature from freezing to scorching. You guess in the morning with your coffee. Your granddaughter guesses after school. Each of you finds it on your own, and nobody needs to be online at the same time.

Then, in the evening, you compare. How many guesses did you need? Who got there first? It takes two minutes, and it turns into a running joke very quickly.

2. The coldest guess of the day

Some days the best part isn’t the answer, it’s the wrong turns. Ask each other: “What was your coldest guess?” A ten-year-old who tried dinosaur on a day when the word was something from the kitchen will be happy to tell you all about it.

3. A weekend project: the Hot Word

Once you’ve found the day’s word, a free account opens the Hot Word: one harder word for the whole week. It makes a good weekend project. You both work on it over a few days, each on your own. On Sunday, swap notes without giving anything away: “I’m at hot. You?”

4. Grandma picks the word

With a group, the family gets its own game. The person who starts the group picks the secret words, and everyone else guesses them. The group’s leaderboard shows who needed the fewest guesses. Joining a group is free; starting one comes with Premium.

Choosing the word for your grandchildren is surprisingly fun. Pick a word that means something in your family: the dish everyone asks you to bring, the thing Grandpa is always losing. Then wait for the phone to ring.

5. Hot and cold on a video call

For younger grandkids, the old spoken version works beautifully over video. Hide a toy in your living room while they close their eyes. Then they’re the seekers: they tell you where to walk with the phone, and you answer “warmer” or “colder.” Or turn it around: they hide something in their room, you send them around it, and they tell you how warm you are. Kids love being in charge of the temperature.

You can play the word version out loud too. One of you thinks of a word, the other guesses, and the thinker answers cold, warmer or hot. Swap after every round.

6. A note in the mail

Once a month, send a card with the funniest guess of the month written on the back. Kids still love getting real mail, and a card with their own silly guess on it tends to end up pinned to the bedroom wall.

7. A word notebook

Keep a small notebook by your chair. Every evening, write down the day’s word once you’ve both found it, with both of your guess counts. When you visit, bring it along. It becomes a little diary of your days apart.

Here’s how one of those games might look

Say Grandma picked scrapbook as the family group’s secret word, after a summer of photos:

1. train43 °FFreezing: nowhere near
2. memory124 °FWarm: now we’re getting somewhere
3. glue145 °FWarm: you make it by hand
4. photo171 °FHot: what goes inside
5. album190 °FScorching: almost the same thing
6. scrapbookFound it!

Notice how the guesses tell a story of their own. Memory was the first warm word, glue said “something you make by hand,” photo said what goes inside, and album got right next to it. That’s a game a grandchild will want to talk about.

Try it now: what’s your first guess?

Guess

Your word goes straight into today’s game.

A word about ages

The daily word game works from about eight years old, once children read comfortably, and it works just as well at eighty. For younger children, stick to the spoken version on a video call. They’ll pick up the idea of “warmer” and “colder” quickly, and they’ll be ready for the word version before you know it.

When you’re together again

When the visit finally comes, you’ll have weeks of shared little stories. Take a few minutes at the table to play hot and cold out loud, the old way. If you need ideas for those evenings, have a look at word games for family night, or, if the visit falls in late November, Thanksgiving word games.

In the meantime, there’s a new word every day at midnight. Today’s is waiting, and so is someone a thousand miles away.